Eat, Pray, Love Author Elizabeth Gilbert Talks About ‘Radical’ Relaxation

Elizabeth Gilbert, the celebrated author of “Eat, Pray, Love,” is no stranger to challenging societal norms. In her recent talk in Melbourne, Gilbert took aim at one of society’s most persistent expectations of women: the need to be constantly “on” and productive. She pointed out how rare it is for female role models to be associated with the term “relaxed.”

In her words, this concept is often tied up with negative connotations for women, hinting at laziness or a lack of ambition.

EBD / When Elizabeth Gilbert decided to search Google Images to find out what a “relaxed woman” looks like in our collective imagination, the results were telling.

What she saw was a flood of images showing slim, wealthy, mostly white women in picturesque spa settings. These images often feature serene women meditating on mountaintops or lounging in tropical paradises.

For Gilbert, this illustrates a narrow view of relaxation. A view that is not only exclusive but also unrealistic for most women.

Gilbert’s discovery revealed a fundamental issue: the perception of relaxation has been commercialized and idealized. In the images she found, relaxation was tied to wealth, luxury, and a highly curated aesthetic. This imagery perpetuates the idea that relaxation is something that has to be earned, often through financial means.

Why Aren’t Female Role Models Described as ‘Relaxed?’

Gilbert’s observation during her Melbourne talk struck a chord with the audience. She noted that when we think of female role models, we rarely describe them as relaxed. Instead, we admire them for their resilience, strength, and hustle. These are women we call “badass,” “fierce,” or “disciplined” – all traits that reflect perseverance and grit. Relaxation, on the other hand, is seen as something less desirable. Society implies that relaxation means giving up – as if a woman’s worth is tied to her productivity.

Gilbert’s reflection on this issue reveals an inherent bias in how we view successful women. She believes that we need to change our language around women’s achievements. Relaxation should be recognized as an achievement in its own right.

Relaxation as an Act of Rebellion

For Gilbert, relaxation is about rebelling against a culture that equates busyness with value. She notes that many of the women who seem to “have it all” are not truly relaxed. They may project an image of calm and control, but underneath, they are often stressed, overworked, and overwhelmed.

Marca / Gilbert argues that society expects women to perform, constantly proving their worth through visible productivity. Relaxation, then, becomes a subversive act – one that challenges the status quo and says, “I am enough as I am.”

Gilbert’s emphasis on radical relaxation encourages women to reject the notion that they must earn the right to rest. Instead of treating relaxation as a reward for success, she suggests seeing it as a necessary part of living a balanced and fulfilling life. For many women, embracing this mindset shift would mean letting go of the pressure to always do more and allowing themselves to simply be.

Thus, in a world where being “on” is the norm, Gilbert’s call to relax is a powerful reminder of the importance of rest.

Likewise, Elizabeth Gilbert questions another popular concept: “Me time.” She believes that while self-care has become a trendy topic, it is often misunderstood. Many women engage in “me time” by scheduling massages, yoga sessions, or weekend getaways, only to find themselves still thinking about work, family, and other obligations.

This kind of “me time” doesn’t necessarily lead to real relaxation. For Gilbert, true relaxation is deeper. It is a way of living that allows women to feel at peace with themselves rather than feeling pressured to check off another task on their to-do list.